The Magic Juice

This bubbly elixir will take you to the TOP OF THE WORLD, folks! It’s all the rage, the new hip happenin’ craze. Is there anything this baby can’t do? Get one for you and another for your friend — just kidding, you won’t want to share! They’ll understand. I mean it’s MAGIC! From the first sip, your whole life will change. You want everyone you see to be BEAUTIFUL? Do you want to feel larger than life? Step right up, step right up — yes, that’s right! It’s delicious too! AND it’s good for you. It’s made with water and is NATURAL. Your mind, ladies and gentlemen, will thank you for setting it free. One taste of this juice right here — you won’t have to think at all! Ever again! The good life is liquid and it’s time to shove it down your throat. Think about it. That’s all you gotta do, folks. Take a sip and enjoy the ride! Buy one and you’ll need 5 more! It’s your lucky day! I’m giving these puppies away — for your whole paycheck, you can have even more! Let me tell you a little secret folks, stand ‘round — this juice — gosh, this juice — it pays for itself. Be the envy of all your friends! Make your partner fall in love with you again! And if by some fluke, they don’t? Who cares! You won’t — anymore. This is THE best invention since sliced bread — drink enough and you won’t want that, either. The money to be saved, the worries to be gone, you know you want one! You CAN have it ALL — cash in your self-respect and forget about your potential, you weren’t using it anyway! Am I right, folks? Of course, I am! That pesky law, you know, I gotta say — you may wake with a headache but that’s all — a small price to pay for BLISS. It’s your lucky day, like I said, I’m practically giving these away — buy one and you’ll be hooked. With this juice, you don’t have to try and have fun. Fun just happens! Wow! Drink this to break free of monotony! No more rules or responsibilities. Just you and your juice in hand. How many should I sign you up for m’am??? Any other takers? Yes, you in the back sir! Step right up. You seem like a nice guy, don’t worry, that will change. It’s your lucky day. You want to change your life? Right this way, ladies and gentlemen, the magic juice is waiting for you…

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